


Computer Virus

by Pointeandshoot



Category: Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: AU, Bleh, DA FUTURE, I, I Know so random, I'M SO DEAD, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, care, don't, i love it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-09-23 02:05:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9636095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pointeandshoot/pseuds/Pointeandshoot
Summary: Tyler lives inside a computer called The Hard Drive and is slowly fighting off a fatal illness. Here's the catch: he doesn't know how long he has been fighting.This is the story of him waking up to a whole new world(Future au)Got questions? Well that can all be fixed. Just go to my tumblr, pointe-and-shoot!. Or just comment like a normal person.





	1. The beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me- P.S. Sheperd's disease isn't real  
> Reader- Psh, i knew that ( looks away to hid awful lying skills  
> Me-ok mister/miss smarterpants, whatever you say

I am a computer

Well... I'm not a computer, not really. I'm human. I'm a living, breathing humanoid. I just.... sort of  _live_ in the computer. 

I hop from interface to interface learning more and more about the human race and how it's progressed through the years. People going from style to style and from war to war, they never realize that they waste their life away making pointless small talk. It will be our downfall.

i don't really know how long I've been here. There's no clock. The only numbers I find are just a bunch of 1s and 0s, which help _so_ much (note my sarcasm).

The only thing I really know is that I'm in a sort of coma, I guess? I was diagnosed with Sheperd's fever, a fatal virus that almost wiped out half of the population. I started to code and was placed on life support, which in 2073, means machines working on your mostly dead body while your mind is uploaded into The Hard Drive. The machines work like a preservation tank, keeping your body in the near to same condition as when you were placed on life support.

Neat, right?

The only problem is that you don't know how long you're gonna be in The Hard Drive, so I like to pass the time by reading other people's stories. Everyone's life is all on The Hard-Drive, easy to access. 

My favorite story is this one person. His life was so hard. He grew up in a strict Christian household where he was taught that listening to rock  music would send his ass straight to hell. Of course, he grew up to be the complete opposite of what his parents wanted him to be. He was not this straight church boy who listened to church choirs and only watched Veggietales, but, on the contrary, he was the gay punk kid with gauges in his ears, and, to top it all off, he played the drums.

(Dramatic gasp from imaginary audience) The drums. The tip of the iceberg. The one thing that would guarantee him a sure spot on the right hand of Lucifer. Nothing could be worse.

Except that his parents kicked him out when he was 18 and still in high school. See, that way it was perfectly legal and they could get rid of their failure of a son.

He, fortunately, found a job, finished high school, started a band, failed at the band stuff, went to college, and got a job as a music store manager.

i like his story. It makes me believe that there can be an upside to my problems, but his story can also mean that I need to keep going and look forward.

My only problem is that there is not much to look forward to. I have been in The Hard Drive for who even knows how long. I could have been here for seconds or years. Just slowly wasting away on life support.

If I ever get out of here, I want to make sure that The man in the story has(or had) a good life.

i should probably learn his name, it will make the stalk-i mean-searching easier.

1001010010010100100111000

Josh. His name is Josh.

huh. Such a simple name for such an important story.

beep beep beep

~WARNING~

Attention __Tyler Joseph__

Its time we prepare you for the restoration of your body. Prepare for slight discomfort.

 

What? I-I-I get to.....

I get to wake up.


	2. Something's Gotta give

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's awake.

_Beep.   Beep.    Beep.     Beep.     Beep.    Beep.     Beep      Beep      Beep      Beep    Beep_

I wake to the the beating of the heart monitor and the sound of at least 100 year old music. A women in blue doctors scrubs and white lab coat stood over me reading a chart which I assumed was mine.

It took her a while before realizing I was conscious. Her eyes shifted from the chart to me and she frantically rushed over to my bedside, green hair brushed in her eyes.

"Oh my, sir! I am so sorry."she said. Her hands fidgeting nervously while checking my vitals. "I-I-I need to page Neuro and General." She bolted out the door. After a few seconds, she came back in and said "Also, welcome back to the world, sir"

This time when she left, she stayed gone, so I took my time to examine the room. There was machinery in almost every inch of the room, all of them seemed to be attached to me. There was a window where artificial light seemed to be pouring in. Everything seemed so surgical.

I turned to my left to see tiny speakers playing some old tunes. The beat recognizable as I listened to the lyrics.

_I woke up in strangers bed_

_with pens and needles in my head_

_And the clock ticking off the wall_

_oh, yeah_

_I don't even know myself_

_i wish I could be someone else_

_but I don't have a clue at all_

_oh, yeah_

_I'm sinking_

_Your waiting_

_I'm thinking something's gotta give_

_Oh_

_Wake me up_

_Say enough is enough_

_I'm dying to live_

_Something's gotta give_

 

The song kept playing as I closed my eyes one more time.  Waiting for the doctors to tell you what's wrong with you is so strenuous on the brain.

~~~~~

"Excuse me, sir? Mr. Joseph." a female Voice said while hands were trying to shake me awake. 

"huh? " I replied groggily. 

"oh, Mr. Joseph. We thought you had died again" the doctor with green hair had come back and this time she wasn't alone.

"this is Dr. Wentz." green haired doctor lady pointed to the man standing beside her with a bright smile. " He will be monitoring your recovery period.  And we hope your time in The Hard Drive. Now, Dr. Wentz will be discussing something's with you."

Green haired doctor lady turned and left the room. Dr. Wentz sighed and started to shuffle through his papers. 

"Well," he said. " Mr. Joseph. I believe you will be discharged soon. Life Support did a good job on you. Your vitals are stable, your heart is healthy, and there is no sign of Shepherds disease anywhere." he smiled.

I gave a weak smile. A small amount of the emotion in this moment. 

"That's great, Dr. Wentz"

Dr. Wentz' smile started to fade.

"there's one problem though" he said to the papers in his hands. 

"what is it" I ask, getting more and more anxious each second.

"Well, see Tyler. You've been in The Hard Drive for a while now. "

Like a year? 

"how long, doctor? "

"Well, sir. " Doctor Wentz said to his papers. "About 73 years."

"..."

 

Well, crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Something's Gotta Give by All Time Low  
> My grades are so low that helll has to take an elevator to reach them.   
> Cry myself to sleep.   
> Smell ya later.


	3. The library is soooooo cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IDK really.  
> I'm so freaking tired.  
> Its at a library, which should tell you something about my social life (I don't have one)

You know, after being trapped in a computer for 73 years while your body is in a vegetative state, you would think your first instinct would be to have some fun. See the sights.  Go to a bar.

But, nope. Not me. 

I, being the big nerd that I am, went to the library. 

Good job, me.  Yeah, this makes you _so_ cool. 

Before you judge, it was open mic night. They want to "inspire" people, I guess. 

So come on over, grab a book, listen to the crappy kids who think they have talent. 

 _So_ fun. 

~~~~~~~~

The library wasn't as bad as I thought. Every thing was digital, which was awesome. The crappy singers didn't sing that loud, thank God. 

I sat somewhere near the back corner, so I could be creepy and mysterious, obviously. Some hippie chick was currently singing some nirvana stuff, obviously sucking but they're kids so you have to at least pretend they're not _that_ crappy. 

Anyway, the only person I actually listened to was so nerdy dude in glasses and a Fedora. 

"hi, um", he said. His hands fidgeted on the mic stand. "I-I-I am Patrick. Since I'm absolute crap at writ-t-ting music, I'll j-j-just be doing a cover"

The man-Patrick looked down at his hands, as if they would be performing for him. 

"well, uh. Here goes. "

The music started pouring out from everywhere but they came from nowhere. I guess 'cause it's the future. 

"blood still stains when the sheets are washed" he sang. I don't know how, but his voice somehow worked with the song. 

"sex don't sleep when the lights are off. 

Kids are still depressed when you dress them up

And syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup. 

He's still dead when you're done with the bottle

Of course it's a corpse that you keep in the cradle

Kids are still depressed when you dress them up

And syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup." 

The rest of the song was the same. Disturbing but strangely entertaining. Kudos to the song-writer. 

I may be new to this whole new era, but that Patrick dude can sing. I could totally see him as being my first new friend. 

So, I guess it was only a coincidence that, after he was done singing, Patrick sat down in my dark and mysterious corner. 

He looked at me and smiled. 

"hi, um, I'm Tyler" I said shyly, trying to be polite. 

Patrick smirked,"hey, I'm Patrick. how come I haven't seen you around town?"

My mind went completely blank. I didn't want to mess up my only chance of friendship with this dude.

" big town, I guess? "

He frowned."it's actually small. "

"um, hermit?" I replied. 

"Not pale and creepy enough"

"traveling circus?"

"Really. Now you're just being ridiculous. "

"OK, fine! "I semi-yelled. 

"Shhhhhhhhhhhh! " the entire library hushed at once. 

"fine" I whispered. "I just got out of the hospital and I don't really know anyone yet. "

Patrick looked at me with what seemed like pity. "you're from The Hard Drive, aren't you?"

Shock spread through me like an electric current. "h-h-how do you know that? "

Patrick's eyes widened at sudden realization of his rudeness. "oh, I'm so sorry. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You are one of those Shepard's Disease survivors I'm guessing. 

I nod my head to confirm his suspicion.

"yeah, that's what I thought. "he looked down at his hands, which were neatly folded in his lap. Suddenly,  his eyes started to light up as if a plan was cooking inside him. 

"Oh wait! You don't have anywhere to live, do you? "

I shake my no, slightly embarrassed.

Patrick looked ecstatic. "this is great! My friend is looking for a roommate. This is perfect. Look! He's right over there. "

I didn't get to see where he was pointing because before I knew it, he was dragging me over to a man whose back was turned. 

The man shifted to face us, although he looked vaguely familiar.

"Tyler, "he paused for dramatic effect. "meet my friend and hopefully your new roommate, Josh Dun."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader~ but, author. Libraries are cool  
> Author~ don't try to kid yourself  
> Reader~ but-  
> Author~ No. Just no. 
> 
> This chapter is soooooo long.  
> IM GONNA SEE TØP ON WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!!


	4. IS JOSH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh's job and babysitting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader: what kind of name is Slagathor?  
> Author: idk. It seemed like an embarrassing middle name  
> Reader: I bet mine's weirder  
> Author: Is it? Is it really?  
> Reader: yeah it-  
> Author stares at reader through the power of the internet  
> Reader: no  
> Author: Good Slagathor. *pets reader like dog*

It has only been 3 weeks since I moved in with Josh. That's 3 weeks since I left The Hard Drive and the only thing that has crossed my mind was, ' I am so freaking dun with this century( author: hahaha get my pun. No? Well I'll go die in a hole now).

If someone seems interesting,  I can't just blink and poof!  Their entire life story is right in front of me. i mean, I can go on the internet and google them, but its just not the same. 

Oh, and one thing, josh doesn't know I was in The Hard Drive. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Josh's POV ( I know, finally)

"Hey, Tyler! I'm leaving for work! ", I yell as I walk through the front door. I walked out of the apartment and into my car, deep in thought as I drive away.

I hadn't been to work since Tyler had moved in.After all the time I spent withe him, I reached a conclusion,  he was very weird. (I wanted to get to know him before I left him with all of my stuff. )

I mean, it's not like he's there all day. He goes _somewhere_. I don't really know where but one day I did accidently happen to see something in his bag. I didn't mean to, but my curiosity got the best of me and I had to look and see what it was. Now I wish I haden't. It felt like I was invading his privacy and if he wanted me to know where he was going everyday, he would have told me. But he didn't. And now I feel tremendously guilty. 

Because I saw hospital papers. 

_His. Freaking. Hospital. Papers._

I feel the guilt travel all over my body as I roll into my parking space. 

Time to go work.

I work as a music store manager. It doesn't pay much but it's enough to live on and I can afford a semi-decent apartment with the help of a roommate. Hence the reason for Tyler. 

As I walk into the store, I see something that makes me fill with guilt. I see my friend Sarah's eight year old child. 

Crap, I completley forgot I was supposed to look after him today. 

"Joshua William Dun!" I hear Sarah yell. "Where have you been. I don't want to be late for a meeting! "

"I-uh-I-um" I stutter. 

"Just kidding, Josh. You're actually on time" she says, giggling hysterically. She looks to her child with a soft smile. 

"See you in a few hours" her eyes saying a kind _thank you_  to me. 

After she left, I turn to her son.

"Alright, kid.  Let's have some fun."

\-----------------------------------------

_A few hours later_

Sarah had returned to retrieve her little monster. 

"Hey, munchkin!" she said grabbing her child's hand. She shifted her attention towards me. "so, what did you guys do?" she asked. 

"well" i said as I reshelved some old vinyls "we listened to some All Time Low, learned how to pick a lock and learned some bad words. "

"yeah, Mom" Sarah's child said excitedly. "There's darn, butt, and Donald Trump. " he said with a smile plastered on his face. 

" Castiel Slagathor Bufford! We do NOT say the devil's name in public unless it is to shame him! "

Sarah grabbed her son's hand and shot me a dirty look. I thought I was in for a deep beating (with words, duh) until she started to laugh. It wasn't long before I joined in as well. 

After the giggle fest, Sarah waved a quick goodbye and left the store, leaving me alone with the two old ladies looking at the alto saxaphones. 

I sighed and looked at my watch.

 _7:20_ it read. 10 minutes to closing time.

 I really just want to go home and crawl into my bed. 

_Buzz Buzz._

_( 3) Message(s) from Weird Roommate_

WR-hey josh

WR- I need to talk to you

WR-it's really important

 

So much for sleeping.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter is better than the last one.  
> Going to TØP concert tonight! I am so excited!!!!  
> (also slagathor is the weirdest name I could come up with)


	5. doctor's appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tylers POV

~~~~~~~~~~Earlier~~~~~~~~~~

I was alone in the new place I called home. Josh had left and I had yet another doctor's appointment. I felt as if they were a ball and chain weighing me down and I could never do any new things for I would 'strain my body'. Whatever that meant. 

I could tell that Josh didn't like me very much. He never trusted me with anything, like I break something just by staring at it. I was surprised he even left me alone in the apartment. 

I wonder what he thinks of me. He doesn't know I'm from a different time and he probably thinks I'm insane and is as mentally stable as an anxious teenager. 

I'm such trash. 

I sighed and looked down at my watch. 

_10:30_

Oh,crap! I'm going to be so late.

I rushed to the other side of the room and grabbed my shoes.  I hastily put them on and ran out the door, grabbing my patient ID card. 

I ran out the door all the way to the train stop. 

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. 

My mind would not slow down. Not when I got on the train heading downtown. Not when I entered the hospital. Not even when I checked into the front desk and sat in my room. 

"hello, Tyler. " a voice had appeared out of nowhere, startling me. I turned to see who it was. 

I released a breath I hadn't known I was holding when I saw it was just Dr. Wentz. Good old Dr. Wentz(AN: he's not really old)

"What's up, doc?" I replied. 

"Well, " he said, look at my chart. "you're 20 minutes late to your appointment. You seem to be losing weight instead of gaining it and you always come here alone. "

He looked at me with a stern face. 

I dropped my gaze.

"so what if I come to these alone. " I whispered. "it's not like I have people lining up to be my friend."

"oh, c'mon Tyler. What about your roommate? What's his name. Um, " he looked through my chart. "Josh! Yes, what about Josh." he asked. 

"what about him? " I questioned. A look of puzzlement dawned my face. 

"Doesn't he know?" Dr. Wentz stared at me intently. 

I sighed. Of course he wouldn't get it. 

"of course not! We just met and besides, he doesn't need to know every single detail about my life. " I huffed. 

"but you know all about his" he exclaimed. 

I froze. Unable to move. 

"you thought we didn't know what you did in there. You do what every long term patient does and we don't judge you, but, Tyler? " he looked, strangely, concerned now. "You should really tell him. It's not good for to do this alone."

I looked down at my skinny jeans, tears forming my eyes.  I get up to leave, shoving my emotions down.

"Oh, and tyler," he said stopping me in my tracks.

He smiles before continuing.

"just make sure,  when you do tell him, don't mention the creepy stalking you did in The Hard Drive. Believe me, no dude likes to be stalked."

I chuckle. "yeah. I won't".

I turn and exit, walking towards my apartment. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hit send on my last text to Josh. The only thing left to do was to wait for him to come home. 

Oh, boy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: *whispers*hey, reader  
> Reader: *wakes up from sleep* huh what?  
> Author: guess what day it is  
> Reader: I don't care. Let me sleep.  
> Author: it's my b-day  
> Reader: go away  
> Author: *places party hat on reader* can't be mean to me on my birthday  
> Reader: ugh
> 
>  
> 
> I accept all criticism


	6. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its confession time!

(Joooooosh)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I. Want to do. Is Go. To SLEEP! Is that to much to ask? I guess it is. I mean what could be more important than that? Oh, not much, maybe just EVERYTHING. Btw I'm being sarcastic. 

Maybe it is important. Or maybe it's just stupid. I don't know Tyler all that well, so who knows?

 I was driving, my eyes drooping a little, when Tyler texted me yet again.

 

_(1) message(s) from_ Weird Roomate

WR- hey when r u coming back

Well, there's one thing I know about him. He's impatient. I replied instantly. I know, I'm being so safe. I'm just a car wreck waiting to happen.

ME- yeah, I'll be there in a few

I roll my eyes, damn he must be anxious.

i keep my eyes on the road, wondering whatever Tyler was going to talk to me about.

i stayed like this for a while. So focused on nothing that I had almost missed my apartment.

i tripped twice on my way to the door, and when I finally made it, I hit my head on the opening door. And the stupid person of the year award goes to Josh Dun.

 

When I entered the apartment, I instantly noticed that the room was pitch black. It made me wonder if Tyler was even there.

 In fact, I was going to just hit the sack when a voice whispered, "hi"

which, of course, scared the crap out of me and made me almost scream like a little girl. 

"Oh my god, Tyler.  A little warning next time." I said while turning on the light. 

Sure enough, there Tyler was, sitting on the couch, staring at absolutely nothing. 

"Um." I waved a hand in front of his face. 

Tyler shook suddenly. As if waking up from a daze. He turned his head, staring straight into my eyes. 

We stared at each other for a few uncomfortable minutes before I broke the silence. 

"So what was it that you wanted to tell Me?" I asked. 

Tylers eyes opened wide then stared down at his lap. "Oh, that. Um, well it's not that that big of a deal. You don't have to listen.  It's just that-well there's this one thing, and I mean, it's OK. We're good. I'm good.  Is it hot in here. I think its in here." he rambled, his right hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

I gave him a look. You know, one of those looks that says _'really, dude? Are you serious right now?'_

He sighed. " Well, here goes, I-I-I-I" he stuttered before taking a deep breath and saying, "I think we should get a toaster, don't you? " he smiled a fake smile. 

I raised an eyebrow. "Really.? That's all?  You mean to tell me, that YOU left me in suspense and deprived me of the sleep I so desperately want because YOU want a toaster.  Yeah, no. I don't believe it. Tell me the truth or I'm just gonna go to bed." I crossed my arms,  trying to look intimidating(obviously failing).

He dropped his gaze to his hands which were folded in his lap. 

" Well, to start. I'm not from around here." he said

I rolled my eyes. "Well no, duh. You know absolutely none of surroundings and you look at every single thing as if it may explode."

Tyler shook his head. " no that's not what I meant. What I meant to say was that I was born over eighty years ago. "

"W-w-w-what? " what the hell?

"Josh, "

"Tyler"

"I'm from the Hard Drive"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!   
> Reader: what the-  
> Author: I am so happy  
> Reader:does it look like I cars  
> Author: no but just ask me why  
> Reader: what the frick no  
> Author: pleaaaase  
> Reader: whatever  
> Author: I won a freaking scholarship from a dance convention I went to and I have never gotten one before and I'm so happy  
> Reader: shut up your happiness is messing with my depressing aura  
> Author: Screw you I'm happy
> 
>  
> 
> (P.S. For you people who don't know, dance scholarships will pay for all or a portion of your classes you take from them so it's really good b/c the classes are really expensive.)
> 
>  
> 
> I'm open to all criticism


	7. Its okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh!!!!!!

First things first.............what?

Like, hold the phone for a god damn minute. 

He's a Hard Drive survivor?  I mean, like plot twist. Who could've seen that coming?  I guess I should have. Now that I think about it, there was a lot of evidence. I mean,  there was the hospital papers,  the way he looks at everything like he's an eighty year old man trying to figure out the internet, the fact that I met him in a freaking library. I feel really stupid now.   
After he told me I just kinda stood there, like, all creeper like. With a straight face, bugged out eyes,  and my chin tilted down, the whole situation made it all look awkward. It's the 'Are you serious?' face. 

And of course, since my brain decided to shut down in that exact moment, all that I could think to say was, "Good for you? "

Great, now he thinks you don't care.  
" I-I-I-I mean," I stumbled out. Crap, what do I say?  " What about Patrick?"

Tyler looked at me with confusion. "I don't understand. Patrick isn't from that Hard Drive. "

"No, thats not what I meant." I covered my hands with my face. " I mean, like, does he know?"

He rolled his eyes. "Well, of course he does." he says as if this information was so obvious. "I mean, he is kind of , like, the only friend I have here."

"So" I said. "I guess that means I'm the last one to know, right?" I tried to hide my emotions but the hurt was audible in my voice.

Tyler looked stunned. I guess that's not what he was expecting. I mean, this whole situation is new to both of us and I'm guessing when you leave The Hard Drive there isn't a How To guide on telling people where you've been for the past *insert time you've been in death sleep*.

"I'm sorry, Josh" his voice interrupting my thoughts. "He figured it out on his own and we had just met and I didn't want to scare you off because then I would have no friends and no where to live and it would just, honestly, suck." He rambled, his eyes close to tears.

Oh, no. He's panicking. _Do something._  "No, No, No, No, Tyler. It's okay. I'm not mad." I said

"Y-You're not?" He sniffed. I felt really sorry for the guy.

i shook my head in response and scooted closer to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, all the hurt and pain gone from my heart and was replaced with sympathy.

He shoved his face in his hands and broke down crying, my fingers rubbing circles on his shoulders.

He started muttering, not completing many sentences.  " I-I-I-I can't believe....Oh my God....You don't hate m.....wha.....why..... I just........"

It was kinda cute. No wait, snap out of it. Don't think about that. Just think about something else,  listen to his breathing or something.

The one thing, i noticed, that was a tiny bit irregular, was his heart. It was beating way to fast. His breathing getting more and more wheezy and closer together. Almost like he was having an asthma attack. He was getting so weak and then, he fell straight to the floor

And that's when I knew something was wrong.

His body started shaking and it was unlike anything I had ever seen before.

i dropped to the ground, shaking him a little to see if he was still conscious. He wasn't. 

His heart palpitations were getting more irregular and his breathing was close to stopping. 

And that's when I dialed 911.

And that's also when the ambulance arrived at my house to save Tyler. 

And maybe it did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader: I have question  
> Author: And I have an answer  
> Reader: Do you REALLY think Tyler would fall STRAIGHT down.  
> Author: No, I think he would fall homosexualy down.  
> Reader: you're not funny  
> Author: *sighs dramatically* I know  
> Reader:Also.......WTF. What just happened  
> Author: insanity  
> Reader: I FREAKING HATE YOU SO MUCH!!   
> Author: I don't care  
> Reader: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!   
> Author: *louder* AAAAAAAHHHHHH!   
> Reader: wtf


	8. There and back again by Bilbo Baggins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler is somewhere. Things happen. Bleh. Tiny bit of peterick

101011110010110000011100100000010101011111101100001001001000001001110111100

~Incoming Message~

Hello, __Tyler Joseph__!

Welcome, back.

 

No. Oh god no.

~Incoming Message~

You will experience slight discomfort as we make the transfer

 

No! I just got out of here!  Get me out!  

~Incoming Message~

Complete!  

Your mind has been downloaded to the Hard Drive. 

Everyone at the Human Preservation Unit hope you enjoy your stay! 

 

Not again!  What the Hell am I doing here! I don't have Sheperd's disease again, do I? No,  that was wiped out years ago. Unless... Maybe I brought it in somehow. No, they wouldn't take me out of the Hard Drive unless they were 100% sure that I wasn't contaminated. 

But then why would I be in here. I'm not dead. OK, let's go back to before I got here. 

OK, so I was talking with Josh about.... something. And then I started to cry! Yes I remembered!  Wait a minute, that doesn't sound very manly. Oh god, this is almost as bad as the library thing. 

OK I'm getting off-track. Where was I? Oh, yeah, the crying( mental break down??? Idk)! After that Josh hugged me. Oh that hug. Oh to be in his arms again.  Wait a minute. Shut up.

Then my heart started racing, Josh freaked out then I freaked out.  Then I passed out and now I'm here. 

So to put it simply, it's all Josh's fault. Ha, I'm kidding!

So,  I mean, I think I remember Dr. Wentz telling me to take it slow at one of my doctors appointments, but I really don't know. All I can really think about during those appointments is how perfect he is for Patrick. I mean, the would go together like peanut butter and jelly. (AN: or Frank Iero and Gerard Way)

I guess it may have been too strenuous. Damn it, Josh. You son of a biscuit. You made my heart go too fast with dazzling smile and caring attitude and the way you didn't kick me out when you learned where I came from. Ugh, you will be the death of me Joshua William Dun. Well not as long as I am still in this machine and who knows? Maybe I'll be in here long enough to where I won't have to see your stupid, pretty face again.

AND YES, I LOOKED UP YOUR MiDDLE NAME! SUE ME! IT GETS SO MFING BORING IN HERE! UGHHH!!

Wait a minute, what did I just say?  Sue me?  No wait before that. _Did I just call Josh pretty?_

Oh hell, no (AN: Insert Meghan Trainer's song "No" here) I do not,  nor ever will,  have a crush on Josh. 

Or maybe not a big one. 

Anyway, why am I still in here?  Heart malfunctions aren't that serious. Well,  they are. It's just the Hard Drive can fix them in, like, 5 seconds? 

~Incoming Message~

__Tyler Joseph__

You have suffered a sever concussion and several heart failures. 

Luckily we have fixed them and you will be exiting soon.

We hope you have enjoyed you're stay in the Hard Drive. 

Thank you for your time. 

 

Well, that's one mystery solved. I guess all I can do now is wait. 

And wait 

And wait

And wait. 

And oh my god this is so boring. 

I just wanna see Josh or Patrick. Heck, I'd even settle for Dr. Wentz.

Actually, no I don't. 

But all I can do is wait. And so that's what I'll do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: I SUCK!!!  
> Reader: I KNOW!!  
> Author: shut up, slagathor  
> Reader: that isn't my name  
> Author:it is now. I am the author and I control everything!!!  
> Reader: oh, dear lord. They are turning into Moffat.  
> Author: Shhh, Slagathor.


	9. Patty cake and Petri dish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick, Pete, hospital, stuff happens.

(Patrick's pov)- I know, yay

Tyler's in the hospital. This just absolutely sucks and it's not even happening to me. I don't know the extent of his injury but if my resources(jish) are correct, then he was really damaged and hurt really bad.

I had grown closer to Tyler over the past couple of weeks and he is certainly now one of my most closest friends. We are tight.

I walked into St.Columbus’ hospital, searching for Tyler's room. His number was so easy to remember. I mean, it was 666 for God’s sake. And, I mean, if he wasn't so religious, I might’ve thought he was the devil. Oh, wait, maybe he’s trying to trick me into thinking he's not the devil. Maybe in real life he's pretending to be all churchy and ‘praise the lord’, but in his spare time he's ‘hail satan’? Oh my god! I have cracked Tyler Joseph.

Hahaha, OK. Serious time now. It's time to see Tyler in his vegetative state. Be cool and relaxed and Oh My God, that is one hot man.

Sorry. It's just that there's this doctor standing in front of Tyler's room and he is the definition of fine. He could be a model(an emo model that is).

Oh God. I hope he isn't Tyler's doctor. That would suck. I wouldn't be able to stay focused. Like, this doctor could tell me that Tyler was pregnant with five children and that Josh Is the father and I'd just be staring at him like he was a two-headed donkey.

OK, I need to calm down. I don't know if he is Tyler's doctor and besides, Josh and Tyler? I don't see it.

I walked towards room number 666, approaching the man.

" 'scuse me." I say to him, squeezing past

In the room, there lied Tyler. Attached to dozens of vast machinery, not an inch of him wasn't connecting to tubes or wiring.

I stood there for a moment, taking in the cyborgness that was Tyler, and I stayed that way until someone interrupted me.

"H-h-h-hello, um? " a voice behind me spoke. I turned to see the (hot) man from before. "can I help you? "

I pause in confusion until I realize, " Oh, no thank you. I'm just a friend of Tyler's." I assure him.

"Friend?" the man's face showed confusion, as if he had never heard the word before in his life. Until, of course, it hit him.

"Oh! I'm sorry. You must be Patrick. Yes I'm Dr. Wentz. " he stretched out his hand, waiting for me to take it. "Or, you know," his face fell down, cheeks turning a rosy color. "You could just call me Pete. "

I chuckle, shaking the man/Pete's hand. "OK, Pete." I smile.

A groan from across the room shakes us out of our staring contest. Instantly, Pete went (haha get it? No? I'm gonna go die in a hole now) rushing to Tyler's bedside, checking his pulse, taking his temperature, checking his brain function, etc. . Me, all the while, was staring at Dr. Wentz like an idiot, being of no use whatsoever. But at least I stayed out of his way.

Suddenly, a thought accured to me( I know, haha, thoughts? What are thoughts? ). If Pete-I mean, Dr. Wentz, is checking his vitals and doing all this doctor stuff to Tyler, then he must be Tyler’s doctor, and isn’t that just perfect.

Why are all the hot guys important? Why can’t they be off on the sidelines where I can stare at them from a distance?

UGHHHH!!!!!!

(Oh my God, I already have our ship name. It's Peterick. Squee!)

After creepily staring at Pete for a few more minutes, I sit into one of the visiting chairs, squirming uncomfortably. 

Pete looks at me for a second, then says, “this is gonna take a while, so you can probably go on home. “ he looks back down, his hands rearranging wires and tubes. I start to head on out before he interrupts my dramatic exit.

“ oh and by the way,” he says, not taking his eyes off of his hands. “ there's a nice coffee shop just across the street” his head turns to look right in my eyes(for dramatic effect, of course) “See you at 6?”

 

 

OH!

MY!

GOD!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader: AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?   
> Author: OMG I'm so sorry, school has been hell, hopefully there won't be a lot more waiting.   
> Reader: Good because, I DID MY WAITING!   
> Author:????   
> Reader: TWELVE YEARS OF IT!   
> Author: oh dear lord  
> Reader: (dramatic pause) IN ASKABAN  
> Author: wtf


	10. Confessions that took me forever to write

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh thinks( huh! I know, shocking)

(Josh pov)

Who would've thunk(don't judge) that Tyler would come so close to meeting the pearly gates of heaven, yesterday? Also, who would've thunk that he is also a Hard Drive survivor. AND that he's best friends with patrick, who should totally hook up with Tyler's doctor, what's his name? Dr. West? Idk. Patrick is supposed to be _my_ best friend. Ugh.

Any way, here I am in the waiting room, waiting on Tyler. He woke up 5 hours ago, but visiting hour is in, like , 13 minutes?

By the way, did I mention that I hate hospitals? Yeah, they radiate chaos. Like, for example, in the ER, everything happens all at once. Right now, all these doctors are running around, and all their focus is on this dude who tried to make a flamethrower with a lighter and hairspray. Yeah, that didn’t end too well.

This hate for hospitals kinda sucks. Especially when Tyler is in one like 24/7.

(dramatic sigh) Tyler. He's been through so much. I love him, no homo. He has these eyes that just make you want to hug him and tell him that it's all gonna be ok. Oh, those chocolate brown _eyes._ (Yet another dramatic sigh)

What? I don't understand why all of you are judging me. I'm just complementing another boy's eyes, in a completely heterosexual way. 

No. I am extremely _straight_! Girls, boobs, vaginas, all that jazz!

Why are you looking at me like that? I am straight...right? Like, I've only really dated women, so 1 point for women( or, idk, griffendor b/c ladies are brave ass mfers), but I've never really felt whole with them, like there was a piece missing, so one point for man( 1 giant point for mankind, jk but let's call them slytherin b/c slytherins are effing awesome). Let's see, I've had man crushes before, so one point for slytherin,but I've also had women crushes, so one point for griffindor. Men or women? Slytherin or griffindor? Dictionary or vegetables?

this is hard! Like, sexuality is hard. I mean, I really don't love women, but I haven't really been with a man, so how do I know?(an: I'm so sorry. I don't think that you have to be with both in order to know what your sexuality is. Like, I know that I'm ace and I've never had sex, so believe me when I say It's just for plot). 

What. There's been a question I've been avoiding? Now, what would that be?

Huh?What do I feel for Tyler?

Psh. He's my friend. Albeit, a very cute one, but he's just a friend.

"Josh Dun?" A voice rang out, interrupting my thoughts. "You can visit him now"

oh, well. Here I'll show you. I don't like Tyler.

i sat up off the uncomfortable, plastic chair, and darted towards room 666. My heart palpitating and my breaths are unconstant. When I arrive, shock waves over me. The doctor told me he had removed a bunch of tubes, but there were still hundreds and all of them were somehow connected to Tyler, who was awake at this point.

tyler was staring at the wall to his right, a little out of it, probably from the all the painkillers.

and in that moment, I had realized....

 

that I was in love

 

with Tyler Joseph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> author: idk why I write these, no one reads them  
> Reader: yeah they kinda suck  
> Author:hey!  
> Reader: you gotta step up your game  
> Author: well I'm sorry, I am dying inside  
> Reader: no one cares  
> Author:ugh, screw you


	11. ITS ALIIIVVVEEE!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty guy Awakes

(Tyler pov)

The first thing I thought when I woke up was, "oh dear lord, my breath smells _so_ bad."

Ugh, I feel so bad for the nurses. But hey, at least josh is here. Crazy, weird, strangely depressed looking Josh. Ok, what happened to my josh? He wasn't this _sad_ when I saw him last, people. I leave him in your hands and now look at him _now._  Good job, reader (slow claps to show excessive sarcasm).

jk. I'm just being mean. But what did you expect? I'm just laying here, staring off at a random wall with tubes coming out of _everywhere_ and josh is staring at me for some strange reason? Bleh.

i had been awake for a while now, and been given all the information(which took _way_ too long, if you ask me) about my condition. I was so ready to go home, I was pumped, and energetic, and not at all tired because I had just had the second longest nap of my life. 

A hand touched my shoulder, scaring the crap out of me. I quickly flip to see Josh and Dr. Wentz towering over me. 

"Hey, Tyler." Dr. Wentz calmly said. "I'm gonna start taking out your tubes. Then Josh here is gonna take you home, Ok?" 

He started pulling out tubes, starting with my IV, then the crainium whatchamacallit, and so on. The process was so boring and the only interesting thing I could find was josh, who was, strangely, not looking at me. 

Using this opportunity, I stared at him, taking in his features. First was his eyes, there were just the right color, like mine but completely different. Next was his hair. It was died yellow, like a daffodil. And his tattoo littered arms, the swirls of color were breathtaking. 

Unfortunatly, Josh caught me starring at him, and I didn't realize it until he could see it was no accident. Go me. 

This is the single most embarrassing thing that's ever happened. How can it get worse?

"Soooo" Dr. Wentz started, trying to break the ice" How long have you two been dating?"

oh look. My world just exploded in front of me. How could I have possibly predicted that it could've gotten more awkward? Oh wait.

My cheeks heat up at an alarming rate and I see that Josh's are doing the same. I sputter out some sounds that I guess could've been words? 

"Uh..We..uh..aren't..uh" josh manages before ducking his head. "We..uh..aren't...dating."

dr. Wentz pulls out the last tube. "Well, you should." He starts walking towards the door. "You two would make a very cute couple"

he gives me a smirk before exiting the room, leaving the two blushing masses alone with their awkwardness. 

I turn to Josh. " Uh...Wellllll, that... was awkward." I say

josh avoids my eye contact, rubbing his neck with his hand. "Yeah, it was."

 

00000101110001001001000011101000100010000100101111011000000100101010010110

he kept avoiding my attempts to converse as he helped me into the wheel chair and to the car. I didn't realize that he was so shy about this.

he didn't talk to me the whole car ride, giving me plenty of time to think.

 

_Why is josh being such a butt cheek?_

(Answer: who effing knows)

_Why do I care?_

_because he's your friend, you asshat._

_But is he, though? Is he really?_

_idk, I'm your brain, I haven't been used in 80 years._

_You suck._

_yes, yes I do. But you luv me._

_Yeah, I do._

_not as much as you love Josh though_

_Wait what._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader: yo, why do you suck   
> Author: because I do?  
> Reader: I know but you used to be good  
> Author: I'm a reader not a writer (dramatic old timey pose)  
> Reader: yeah, bye  
> Author: NO! Don't go! I need you!  
> Reader: fine, I'll stay


	12. Important info( i swear im not ditching u)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read

Hey guys!  
My i can't update anytime soon. My Ipad has locked me out of this website so i can't update there and unless you guys want crappy chapters and trying to murder me on the daily. Sooooooo,

Im working on a solution and im close(even though it involves unnecessary chainsaws and flame throwers). I hope to get a chapter in by the end of june, most likely sooner.

love you guys! 

Stay Alive


	13. LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS TO DEFEAT THE HUNS

So it's three months later and nothing at all has changed.

SYKE!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me? So much has changed that I can’t even process life anymore. I mean, why else would I trick impressionable readers such as yourself for the sake of my entertainment?

Well, here I am, 3 months later and my life has almost fallen apart and I still don’t know why. Why does God hate me?( an: a question I ask myself everyday)

* * *

 

 

(Tyguy pov)

So... its kinda been a while. Like a few months, But don’t worry, I’ll explain everything.

After the hospital thingy, Josh started acting weird. Like, _weird_ weird. He wouldn’t talk to me, he would avoid eye contact, and worst of all, he asked me to move out. (dundundunnn)

Ok, I'm over exaggerating. He didn’t ask me but from all of his strange behavior, I knew he didn’t want to be around me after I told him my secret. I know, heartless son of a biscuit( I can’t cuss anymore because it's too “inappropriate” *insert sad face here*)

Now, of course, I'm living with Patrick, who, by the way, is now dating my doctor, so if I ever start dying, Pat has him on speed dial.

And, on the topic of dating, Josh has found someone. A girl. Named Julia. She’s kind of a... how do I say it without sounding mean... eh screw it... kind of a biscuit.

Ok I know what you’re thinking. “But Ty, that's a no-no word”

Shut up, I'm a big boy.

I have a job, now. Its not fancy but it pays the bills(gives awkward thumbs up) And you know what? I’m Just fiiiiiine.

* * *

 

(Pat the stumps pov)

 

Tyler is not fine. He is not ok(NOT OKAYYYY! Sorry I'll shut up now).

All he does anymore is sit around the apartment, eat food, and watch reruns of old Doctor Who(i know, its basically fangirl paradise). This isn’t that healthy.

I’ve tried talking to pete about this but he keeps telling me that he’s fine.

FIIIINNNEE???? He is NOT fine. He’s basically a walking potato and I can’t deal with that. He is suffering from a case broken heartism and it is my job to fix him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: HEYO TUBBY GUYS yes, it is me, im back in business  
> Reader: NOOOO!!!! WE WERE HAPPY WITHOUT YOU  
> Author: gee i can really feel the love  
> Reader: (stares at author with a death glare that holds the power of a million fiery suns)


End file.
